Archive: October 22, 2012

falling and falling again

paradoxes always abound in fall. the liveliness of the colours of leaves at their peak is actually the indication of their death. already i miss the cloudless sky though i dream of water becoming crystalline every night. the feverish new agery that talks of coming shift of consciousness around the winter solstice is met by equalized assertions of the absurdity of the apocalyptic prophecies.

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“Oh I do believe
In all the things you say
What comes is better than what came before”
Velvet Underground

When i get get overly pessimistic and critical, it does not take too long before I am polarized to the other end of the spectrum. Call it conscience, or paranoia, obsession with how I am perceived and received by others, but usually I come to regret my most critical observations and standpoints, simply because of their negativity. This world has patterns of behaviour and daily attrocities so unforgivable that it requires restraint to not be violently angry and reactive. Part of human evolution seems to be the continual struggle to overcome the fear of dying enough to trust all the other humans around. The news media would have us believe the world is simultaneously evolving perfectly, or near collapse. It’s not easy to gauge truth or purpose in a world of unfixed meaning. We are entering the void, and it seems like staying afloat will be all about remaining positive when the true bleakness sets in.

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